September 16, 2012

Temporary Insanity

Every mother has been there.  You're on the way out the door to do some grocery shopping, you didn't get the chance to do your makeup perfectly or your hair and on the way out the door your infant spits up on the shoulder of your black T-shirt and instead of running inside to change, you said, "Oh well, so it's obvious I'm a mom of an infant."  While at the grocery store, your three year old daughter starts whining about the stupid toy she saw on the end aisle cap that you told her she couldn't get because you really were there to get groceries and that dumb toy would break in a matter of 5 minutes, your infant son starts screaming cuz he was trying to sleep but his sister's ear-piercing whiny screams woke him up and you see "the looks".

"The Looks", some women looking at you with sympathy cuz they've been there, done that and other women, you know they're the ones that either don't have kids or have the one 2 week old that still sleeps through a construction site and they haven't had the pleasure of trying to get anything done when their kids aren't sleeping through it that give you the "I can't believe you let your children act like that" look.  Then, you have this embarrassed moment when the little old lady comes by and says, "I think someone needs a nap..."

Quickly you get over the embarrassed moment and think, yeah, someone does need a nap....ME!  I NEED A NAP!  And I don't LET my children act this way, I didn't raise them to scream and throw tantrums but guess what!?!  They are not robots that I can program to work exactly like I want them to and when they have breakdowns I'm so sorry that sometimes it happens at inopportune times for YOU! Cuz it's always such a pleasure for ME!  I didn't tell them, "Thanks for behaving yourselves at home now we're going to the grocery store and I really want you to annoy the hell out of everyone there! GO!"

And then the tired out of your mind moment comes on when you think, I might be able to get away with assaulting these women due to temporary insanity.

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