October 3, 2012

Going Out Screaming, "I LOVE ME!" and "You There...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!"

This post is a little heavier than some of the other ones I've written so, sorry, you might not be laughing as hard at my life as usual.

Seeing as how it's Bully Prevention Month and due to the AWESOMENESS that is Jennifer Livingston standing up to bullies on the evening news, I've been thinking about bullying and confidence a lot.

I have been told by female ex-employees from the bar that I influenced them to understand that you can stand up for yourself without being a bitch and yet when a time calls for it, whip that bitch card out and let someone have it.  Women as a whole seem to think that we have to be pleasant and accept twenty roles at once and burn ourselves down to a nub just to keep everybody happy.  We have to smile and look the other way when that guy at the bar makes remarks about us being a dog or too fat or not having big enough boobs or whatever!  Yep, smile and pretend you didn't hear it.  Go home, look at yourself in the mirror, hear all those comments running around in your head and feel bad about what you see?!?!  Feel bad about who you are as a whole cuz of some moron's comments!?!?  BULLSHIT!

I've been a target many times.  I have been called fat, unattractive and told that I was obviously stupid cuz I was "just a bartender".  I have had many of my own 'look in the mirror and hate what I see' moments.  I won't pretend I'm above it.

I'll admit, my own daughter has heard me belittling myself.  I say things like, "I need to put on make-up before I go out in public so I don't scare the small children.", "I need to lose some weight.", "I look horrible in this, I need to go change."  It makes me sad to think of what I'm passing on to her.  I really need to quit!

What I'm getting at is, I really think we women need to be better role models for our own daughters and young girls everywhere and stand up for ourselves...stand up to the bullies in our own lives.  Stop looking in the mirror and hearing those hurtful comments.  Look again and think of the compliments you've been given over the years.  Don't swallow your pride when some jackass makes a hurtful comment about you or your friends.  Put them in their place!  Call them out!  SCREAM, "I LOVE ME!"

In response to Bully Prevention Month, I say we go out and make Anti-Bully comments to each other.  Go out sometime this month and when you see some woman with beautiful eyes, TELL HER.  A beautiful smile, TELL HER.  A killer outfit, TELL HER!  You can be the bright spot of sunshine in some one's bad day!  So I'm issuing this as a challenge to the readers of my blog...however few there are...we can make a difference!  I want you to go out and give that compliment.  Then, I want you to share your compliment and their response as a comment at the end of this blog post.  Now get out there!  Go see the beauty in each other!  Go be some one's ray of light! GO BE ANTI-BULLIES!


  1. While at work the other night, a regular was talking and I interjected with my usually witty sarcasm, and he replied, "You really aren't that cute, so whatever". I sat there for a fraction of a second and said, "Ouch", but then I realized that this 5'7" 150lb man really wasn't that cute either. Instead of pulling out the bitch card and getting defensive, I just looked at him, and said, "Good. I'm glad you don't think so. My plate is full and I can't really take on another admirer right now. The hubby is starting to get jealous" and walked away with a smile. It did sting a little, but after thinking about it, why do I really care? I have a GREAT marriage, wonderful kids (okay...not wonderful ALL the time, but pretty cool when I don't want to back hand them for running their mouths), and a pretty fulfilling life. I don't care. That guy was speaking his own insecurities and projecting them on me. I feel sorry for him. He goes to his parents house (at 47 years old), sleeps alone, and frequents a variety of bars after work everyday to fill the void in his life. Repeat. Yeah...sucks to be him. My hubby thinks I'm smokin' hot and he tells me so. I win.

    1. Good job standing up for yourself! Now, go out and do the compliment someone part!