Stay-At-Home...DAD?

Yep, some dad's are actually staying home with the kids now because they are married to women that never wanted to be stay-at-home-moms or they wanted to keep the high powered job they already had or for whatever reason, the moms are bringing home the bacon and the dads are staying home.  Stay-at-home-dad's are a growing breed.

I was at a mom's group Friday.  (I KNOW, it freaks me out that I'm a member of a mommy group too, but these chicks are pretty cool.)  One of the mom's brought up a friend of her's that is a stay-at-home-dad and he was talking about how women don't seem to want him at mommy groups.  It got me thinking...why?

This dad is going through all the same stuff as the moms.  I mean, yeah, OK, he didn't carry the baby for nine months or give birth or breastfeed the baby but so what?  So, by that measure the mom that chooses not to breastfeed, or for some reason can't, isn't allowed at a mommy group?  How about the woman that had a surrogate or adopted?  She didn't carry the baby, give birth or breastfeed the baby either.  That chick is blacklisted!  But she's not...cuz she's a mom?

So mom groups are discriminating against dads because they have the wrong equipment between their legs it seems.  I say between their legs cuz I know there are moms without boobs and dads with boobs...just saying!

Does this guy have it better cuz he's a man?  NO!  He might even have it harder cuz there is a stigma about the stay-at-home-dad.  They supposedly should feel emasculated due to their effeminate role.  Shouldn't us stay-at-home-moms take offense to that?  I feel that it takes a lot of physical, mental and emotional strength just to make it through the day as a stay-at-home-mom cuz you're on call 24/7.  Do you think the dad gets to punch out at 5pm just cuz he's a dad?  I'll even admit, I feel a little more uncomfortable when I take Daughter and Son to the park and see a guy there with kids.  (Even more so if he doesn't have kids though...that guy's creepy!)  I can't even explain it but I'm more willing to talk to the other moms then the dad.  The dad with his kids throwing tantrums in the grocery store gets a lot less sympathetic looks from older women too cuz they don't comprehend the idea of a stay-at-home-dad.  Somehow, in the realm of child care, we're stuck in the 50's and the men work and the women take care of the kids.

Him has freely admitted he would gladly stay home with the kids if I wanted to go out and get a job that paid well. Here's the truth though...my personality doesn't seem to fit with those jobs.  It seems I question authority and can't start at the bottom cuz I make a TERRIBLE employee.  So our house will stay in the stay-at-home-mom realm til I take anger management classes and learn to accept leadership even from morons! :)

The stay-at-home-dad has to get up with the kids, get them dressed, get them breakfast, deal with the tantrums, try to survive the grocery store, take the kids to the library or the park, carry the diaper bag, push the stroller, change the diaper...just like us moms.  He has to do it all with people looking at him wondering where the kids' mom is and wondering if he's a stay-at-home-dad if it's because he's not good enough at anything to make more money than his wife is or if he was hen-pecked into this role.

Sure, the dad probably wants a cold beer at the end of a particularly hard day with the kids when most moms would say they prefer wine but I would rather have a beer or some whiskey or the rocks so I won't discriminate against him there.

I say let the dads into the mommy groups!  If he starts trying to breastfeed his baby while there, then...you have reason for concern!