November 21, 2012

Thanks For The Reminder

I've been so exhausted lately and having such a hard time accepting that my day to day life is really my day to day life.  Daughter has been pushing buttons and testing limits and driving me insane.  Son has been screaming randomly for long periods of time, I'm sure due to teething, and also not sleeping the greatest leaving me with little sleep and pushing me closer to that insanity ledge.  I've been on the verge of a complete breakdown dealing with every body else's individual issues and not having time to even think about my own.  No time to myself has left me with no soul recharging time.  I've been teetering on this fine line for a while now and never sure which way I need to lean to keep my balance.

Yesterday started out like too many days have lately.  Daughter was whining as soon as she woke up.  Son was screaming as soon as he woke up.  I was trying hard to figure out how to work the coffee maker as soon as I woke up.  The whining and screaming kept going and going and going until I was actually coming close to being able to tune it out.  You know how when you hear something constantly it just becomes background noise?  Yep!  Him had run the dishwasher the night before so I needed to unload it.  I needed to wash bottles for Son.  I needed to do a lot of laundry for the whole family.  I needed to fold the laundry I had washed the day before.  I had promised Daughter we could go on a walk.  And all I wanted was my bed!

I grudgingly headed to the kitchen to get started on all the things I needed to get done.  I set Son up in his exersaucer with a teething ring.  Daughter was happily playing in her playroom with a metal coffee can as a drum (did I mention my monstrous headache?).  I turned on the radio in the kitchen to a country station and started putting the dishes away and washing bottles.  Daughter came into the kitchen with a big metal bowl filled with all her bead necklaces.  She told me she was making me a cake.  Eyes half closed and shoulders sagging I muttered, "OK thanks honey..." and continued washing and putting away.  Son was behind me jumping in his exersaucer, squealing and giggling.  After a few more minutes of doing what needed to be done, I stopped and turned around.

In my kitchen was my beautiful and creative Daughter lovingly making me a pretend cake and my cute and fun Son chewing on a teething ring and jumping up and down in his exersaucer, squealing and giggling.  Right at that moment a song came on the radio...Phil Vassar's Just Another Day In Paradise.  If you haven't heard it, listen to it, great song.  It's all about how everything in the house is broken, you can't get a second to yourself, can't even have a date night, the kids climbing into bed after a bad dream and how he wouldn't trade it for anything.

I looked up at the sky and said, "Yep, you think you're funny don't ya?"  I looked back at my kids being cute as could be, looked back up at the sky with a smile and said, "Thanks for the reminder!"  I stopped doing what needed to be done and enjoyed the moment with my awesome children.

So, with Thanksgiving being tomorrow, I am thankful for my family (as I'm sure millions across America will be saying tomorrow).  What I'm really saying is I'm thankful for them even when they are pushing me over the crazy cliff and I feel like a coat that forces me to hug myself doesn't sound so bad.

I'm thankful that even though they're usually the ones to push me to the edge, they're usually the ones to pull me back too.

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” 
— William Saroyan

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