March 8, 2013

When I Grow Up...

I want to be a toddler.  Yep, I want to be a toddler when I grow up!

I want to put on a purple tutu dress, red fairy wings, sparkly red shoes and a tiara walk into a store hit some random stranger on the head with my wand, scream, "POOF! You're my trusty stead!" jump on his back and act like this is completely reasonable behavior.

I want to go into a seafood restaurant ask for a happy meal and when they tell me they don't have a happy meal, I will throw myself to the floor screaming about how unfairly they are treating me, then jump up, kick the waitress in the shin and run screaming out the front door.

I want to throw a huge fit when I'm somewhere I was forced to go out of obligation and have someone tell me, "That's it! You're going home and taking a nap!"

I want to be able to throw a huge fit about nothing and have people walk around me as if they saw nothing.

I want to be able to tell people exactly what I'm thinking and not have them look at me like I'm crazy...just imaginative.  Or ask the totally inappropriate question and have people not get upset.  Or fart in public and giggle about it, cuz I'm sorry if you're too adult for that but farts are funny!

I want to be able to run around all day, fall down asleep wherever I may be, have someone carry me to my bed and tuck me in.

I want to stick my fingers in my ears, stick out my tongue and scream, "LA LA LA LA!" when someone is telling me something I don't want to hear or trying to make me do something I don't want to do.

I want to have a person that is my personal shopper, chef, chauffeur, maid, laundress, entertainment coordinator, etc. and when she gets tired I want to ask her why she's so tired and why she doesn't want to push me in a stroller down to the park and chase me around as I try all the things that I could kill myself trying to do.

I have decided when I grow up I want to be completely sane and act completely not.  If I go grey early (which I am) and if I keep getting no sleep I'll have good wrinkles going early too...I'll be able to get away with it.  People turn their heads when old people do outrageous things too.  Yep, I can't wait til I'm old so I can act like a kid again and have people not tell me how inappropriate I am.

If I did all these things tomorrow I have a feeling there would be a totally different reaction, cops might get involved, mental facilities might have to be visited cuz judges said so...I'll give it about 20-25 years...and then, oh the fun I'll have!

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